Tuesday, November 24, 2009

one of those better days

Well, yeah. What a lame title to begin with but honestly, I couldn't find anything better. Its been in my head since evening, since the time I started my ride back to home from the university.

There were lots of things happening to me today. For starters, I got a Historian post of the students association body of the computer science dept. Thankyou very much. Appreciate it!

And that sums it up. Yeah, the other major advantage was I got some breakthrough in my parallelizing project. There is this awesome project in which we have to pick an algorithm and device methods to run it using thousands of processors. I am doing it in CUDA which I can only say till now is awesome to look and study about it in the surface, but when you actually get down to writting kernels, and start dealing with keywords like shared memory, for loop, threadId.x etc etc, life begins to suck. Yeah. Trust. Starting days with compiling and running stuffs will be frustrating but later on it will go great when you actually some in terms to know how this thing actually works. Yeah, its awesome. You know what, people still have genius instincts in them. I thought that era is over.
How do you react when you are given certain responsibilities? Something out of your bound, you never expected it and boom!!!! you are in for a surprise because the mailman just delivered to you a post of manager (read historian) at some crazy going association. Suddenly I am elevated to a height from where I can see everyone else, and vice versa.
Speaking of which I remember my algorithms teacher here. He is such a great guy and teaches like it will blow your mind off but guess what, I do him in the class. Yeah, he looks so funny to me and not only me but everyone else. In fact majority of my friends do him. We pick on him, we copy him, we comment, we gesture, we do anything humanely possible to get a crack out him. He is kinda a romeo type guy. I mean he is married and must be having a beautiful wife with kids but I don know why he seems to be excited to see the video recorder hot university girl. He sometimes even visit her in the recorder room to say that he is ready to start the video and some other times if there is a guy, he would just thumbs up from the dais.
But tell ya what? I like the education here. Although an M-Tech from one of the IITs wouldn't have been that bad either, but its good here too. Yeah the price is a concern but with banks like SBI and loan rate like 10.5, I would say, Suck on that!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of loan, I cant get a good night sleep at night. Its my first albatross around my neck. Yes, trust me, I consider it as a chain, holding me from going out and enjoying my life and time. I can't eat outside, I can't go bungee jumping, i can't go scuba diving, I can't go sky-diving. Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!
My life was awesome when I was in job. I was into money. I was travelling places. I was doing crazy stuffs and enjoying it. I liked my colleagues. But then this thought was bothering me all through my time after B-Tech. Why should I be satisfied with bachelors only? Why cant I go higher, like masters or doctors? Every other guy is a bachelors now. What makes me different than other? I am different. I want to be different. I don wanna stand in my marriage mandap and have people talk that ooohh he has done his bachelors and others go like, wht??? even my waste niece is an MBA, couldn't this guy try any harder to study more about earthly stuffs.

Its not about going around shutting up other people. Its about shutting up the person looking you through the mirror. How can you avoid that. Its like ignoring the person which plays a record player in your mind and there seems to be only one thing coming out of that player, "Inspite of knowing you can do it, you never had the guts to do it".
Atleast after taking the jump from clean tap water to the sewer, I silence those people. Yeah, job life was awesome. The financial independence, the new friends made whom I miss so dearly and now from that to this, a huge loan on your back, student again and unemployed and expenses don't seem to stop.
The return is sometimes satisfying, thts when you compile the program and get the desired result and sometimes frustrations, thats when you just missed the bus and now you are 5 mins late to the one class where in the teacher uses the first 5 mins to introduce us to the topic that he would be teaching today and the introduction helps you understand the head and tail of rest of the lecture. You miss the intro, you practically miss the whole lecture. Damn those bus drivers. Damn me!!!!!!

Stumble Upon Toolbar